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Page of prufrockluvsong's best tweets

@prufrockluvsong : If you see me shaking in my boots that's just how I dance ok?!

@prufrockluvsong: Nobody ever appreciates all the work I put into perfecting my karate moves. It's always "you can't do crane kicks here" and "ma'am please leave the zoo immediately".

@prufrockluvsong: [bar on St. Patrick's Day]

him: SLANTY *clink*

me: I think you mean sláinte

him: no, slanty is how I stand after I drink Irish whiskey

@prufrockluvsong: If I ever have to have open heart surgery I hope my fridge busts in and stares into open me for ten minutes hoping to see something good

@prufrockluvsong: doctor: no heavy exercise for a month

me: I should get a bell to put by my bed so everyone will know if I need something

dr: normal activity should be fine

me: I should get a flatscreen for the ceiling

dr: uh

me: oooh I should hire someone to turn my pillows to the cool side

@prufrockluvsong: me: *gets reincarnated into a worm* well at least I'll finally be able to relax

flock of early birds: guess again

@prufrockluvsong: Summer is the perfect time to collect shells on the beach. The 20 gauge ones are especially pretty, although you can't beat a good 45 mm.

@prufrockluvsong: genie: and for your third wish?

me: that you fall in love with me

[later]

me: hey babe, our anniversary's coming up and here's my wish list

@prufrockluvsong: [Swedish massage]

masseuse: *smashes meatballs into my back*