@prufrockluvsong

I had a terrible dream that monsters came out from under the bed at night and ate up all the pecan pie. I woke up screaming MY PIE

@prufrockluvsong

Parents: lying is bad

Also parents: if the ticket guy asks, you’re still 11

@prufrockluvsong

Me: *skips a rock perfectly across a pond*

Fred Flintstone: OH NO MY CELL PHONE

@prufrockluvsong

Nobody:

Nobody:

Nobody:

Nobody:

Me: ahhh my severed head collection is coming along nicely

@prufrockluvsong

Waiter: here’s your milksha-

James Bond: grrrrrrr

Waiter: -stirred your milkstirred

@prufrockluvsong

Egg drop soup
Egg clumsy
Egg bad waiter
Egg fired again
Egg turn to life of crime