@prufrockluvsong: Nobody ever appreciates all the work I put into perfecting my karate moves. It's always "you can't do crane kicks here" and "ma'am please leave the zoo immediately".
@prufrockluvsong: [bar on St. Patrick's Day]
him: SLANTY *clink*
me: I think you mean sláinte
him: no, slanty is how I stand after I drink Irish whiskey
@prufrockluvsong: If I ever have to have open heart surgery I hope my fridge busts in and stares into open me for ten minutes hoping to see something good
@prufrockluvsong: doctor: no heavy exercise for a month
me: I should get a bell to put by my bed so everyone will know if I need something
dr: normal activity should be fine
me: I should get a flatscreen for the ceiling
me: oooh I should hire someone to turn my pillows to the cool side
@prufrockluvsong: me: *gets reincarnated into a worm* well at least I'll finally be able to relax
flock of early birds: guess again
@prufrockluvsong: Summer is the perfect time to collect shells on the beach. The 20 gauge ones are especially pretty, although you can't beat a good 45 mm.
@prufrockluvsong: genie: and for your third wish?
me: that you fall in love with me
me: hey babe, our anniversary's coming up and here's my wish list