@prufrockluvsong

me: *wistful* what if you could go back in time and relive a delightful meal with a loved one?

him: is it leftovers again?

me: it’s leftovers again.

@prufrockluvsong

Dylan Thomas: Do not go gentle into that good night… Rage, rage against the dying of the light…

*cut to me already Hulk-smashing a lamp

@prufrockluvsong

learn to swear in every language by watching the world cup at your local bar

@prufrockluvsong

I want to open a restaurant for divorcees but I can’t think of what to name it other than fed ex

@prufrockluvsong

date: I won’t be able to see you for a while. I need to focus on watching the World Cup.

me: *flops to the ground clutching my shin*

@prufrockluvsong

Indiana Jones: why does it have to be snakes

Ron Weasley: why does it have to be spiders

me: why does it have to be family get-togethers

@prufrockluvsong

All my mom’s plants die from being overwatered and that’s all you need to know about my childhood and why I’m like this.

@prufrockluvsong

[deserted island]

friend: this coconut bra is really uncomfortable

me: stop complaining *adjusts puffer fish bra*