I’m just saying if she’s into metric then I’d love to meter
how much does a mortician urn in a year
Alright, I know you’re all wary of funding another Jurassic Park when all the others have ended in disaster, but I have 3 words that will blow your mind: Chance the Velocirapper
IF ANYONE EVER ASKS YOU WHAT TIME IT IS PUT ON SHADES AND SAY “ITS SHOWTIME”
Hold on, you guys. Turns out the person with bad opinions is extremely attractive. I’m on their side now.
INTERVIEWER: tell me about a time you refused to compromise
What idiot called them astronomers and not skyentists
If you’re unsure if you’re pregnant or not that’s called a maby
MAYOR’S TIP: before you spend 20 minutes blowing an air mattress, make sure it’s really an air mattress, and not Gary hiding under a blanket
“Name?” queries the Starbucks barista. The almighty feathered serpent Quetzalcoatl only sighs.