@refreshingslurp : me on ellen
ellen: so i heard you love guillotining the rich
me: ya
(the studio is filled with the terrified screams of investment bankers)
me: omg ellen you didn’t
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@refreshingslurp: Professor X: what's your power
Me: I can make anything sexy
Sexy Professor X: how
@refreshingslurp: [public execution]
Townsperson: these are always so morbid
Me: *quickly hiding giant foam finger*
@refreshingslurp: Me: I wish all prime numbers were sex numbers
Genie: done
Me: how many wishes do I have left?
Genie: 2
Me: nice
@refreshingslurp: Surgeon: during the operation we will use a powerful laser to remove the tumor
Me: PEW PEW PEW!
Surgeon: Ma'am this is a very serious procedure
Me: [somberly] pew
@refreshingslurp: Me, a magician: we never reveal our secrets
Him: no seriously where is my insulin