@respected_loner

i hate when the news guys say “our nation’s capital”. stop jerking us around and tell us what city it is

@respected_loner

just found out today that monkeys don’t lay eggs. so what have i been buying on craigslist. what have i been eating

@respected_loner

whats that detective, the serial killer is in the mall? i’ll hack into their security cameras real fast
[types “job openings” into google]