@rhysjamesy

Literally infuriating seeing so many people still going out to pubs. I came here for a quiet drink!

@rhysjamesy

My mum has asked for ‘bath stuff’ for Christmas so I’ve bought her a toaster.

@rhysjamesy

I go trick or treating dressed as a postman early in the morning and do the postman’s exact route one house ahead so no one trusts him.

@rhysjamesy

Bae: come over
Me: I can’t, I’m hanging out with your parents.
Bae: my parents aren’t home.
Me: I know. I just… You never listen Susan.

@rhysjamesy

So cute how this taxi driver is taking an unnecessarily long route and driving slowly so he gets to spend more time with me.

@rhysjamesy

The Swiss must’ve been pretty confident in their chances of victory if they included a corkscrew in their army knife.

@rhysjamesy

Hey to all the girls with more than one person in their picture you’re making this VERY DIFFICULT.