Literally infuriating seeing so many people still going out to pubs. I came here for a quiet drink!
My mum has asked for ‘bath stuff’ for Christmas so I’ve bought her a toaster.
I go trick or treating dressed as a postman early in the morning and do the postman’s exact route one house ahead so no one trusts him.
Bae: come over
Me: I can’t, I’m hanging out with your parents.
Bae: my parents aren’t home.
Me: I know. I just… You never listen Susan.
So cute how this taxi driver is taking an unnecessarily long route and driving slowly so he gets to spend more time with me.
The Swiss must’ve been pretty confident in their chances of victory if they included a corkscrew in their army knife.
Hey to all the girls with more than one person in their picture you’re making this VERY DIFFICULT.