Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

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Page of robdelaney's best tweets

@robdelaney : I miss James Gandolfini. Not least because his last name means “small wizard”.

@robdelaney: Just saw the new Avengers & the audience went NUTS when Shrek showed up & saved the day.

@robdelaney: my wife came home from church and caught me and Gary trying her jeans on again .

@robdelaney: Should my wife be taking this long to finish the corn maze she entered on Halloween?

@robdelaney: My mom always used to give me a card on Valentine’s Day when I was a kid. She stopped doing it when we broke up.

@robdelaney: I'm so sweaty at all times I think it would be biologically accurate to call me amphibious.

@robdelaney: For all the bad things that happened this year I sure did get fat.

@robdelaney: moisten thyself and wait for me in the westernmost grunting shed

@robdelaney: ME WATCHING OLYMPIC EVENT: “Holy shit that was amazing!”
COMMENTATOR: “Ooh, that was not good at all. He must really be upset with himself.”