@robin_991

Moses: Yo, I think you typo’d this tablet, “Thou shall not Bill”?

God: Frig sakes.

Moses: Lol. Still want me to read it?

@robin_991

15yo: Mom, now that you have to do your own nails, maybe you shouldn’t do them at night…
ME: I didn’t!
15yo: when it’s dark …
ME: It was morning!
15yo: and cloudy…
ME: It was sunny!
15yo: when you’re tired…
ME: I just woke up!
15yo: while drinking…
ME: … fair.

@robin_991

hey parents who say “someday your kids won’t want to be around you”

… when can I look forward to that starting?

@robin_991

Forced homeschooling has taught me I had way too many kids

@robin_991

Remember how judgey we thought we’d be if our kid said “wow! My teacher drinks a lot”

@robin_991

How’s homeschooling going?
I just failed grade 5 math.
Again.

@robin_991

The waiter here is SO sweet
bringing me 4 forks with my cake just in case I drop one.

@robin_991

Me: I remember when people could smoke in a restaurant

10yo: I remember when people could go to a restaurant

@robin_991

Hotel room coffee is still better than that whole relationship with you

@robin_991

So, no one told my 13yo that spoons can’t go in the microwave.

How’s your day