Funny Tweeter

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Page of robwhisman's best tweets

@robwhisman : weed is a total gateway drug. i know a guy who got addicted to HEROIN while in prison for weed

@robwhisman: you are so much more than your diagnosis. bipolar disorder is something i have. i am NOT bipolar. my aunt is NOT lung cancer. lou gherig is NOT a good third example

@robwhisman: a fun activity is leaving one-star amazon reviews for handsaws where you really lean into their ineffectiveness at sawing circles around various pies you've tried stealing from underneath picnic tables

@robwhisman: teens don't realize how privileged they are to have these smartphones. it used to be you'd have to read shampoo ingredients on the toilet but now with the phones you can just snap a pic of the bottle and read them wherever

@robwhisman: stop saying you wish and start saying you will

@robwhisman: the olympics are held once every 4 years.. hell even im not held that often!!!!!

@robwhisman: ageism fascinates me because it's the only ism with this built-in inevitable irony. like, no racist gradually changes into a hispanic

@robwhisman: if you see suicide squad be sure to stay after the credits. lots of people leave half empty containers of popcorn and you can just have them

@robwhisman: just saw the gorilla thing. what kind of thoughtless, negligent parent would raise their child in ohio

@robwhisman: ah excellent, an update to this software i use. think i'll select remind me in 4 hours twice a day for the next seven months