ME: snakes are mean
ME: but it’s not their fault. They have 2 ends & no legs
ME: so the ends justify the mean
*emailing professor after exams*
it hAs been An Awesome And greAt yeAr thAnks for the AmAzing clAss you hAve tAught me A lot
HER: I love sweater weather
ME: *holding up an umbrella to protect us from falling sweaters* It’s that time of year again already?!
Early bird gets the worm
2nd mouse gets the cheese
3rd cow gets the grass
All cows get to eat grass tho, theres not really a low supply.
“Wow this pizza is amazing”
Yes, well it’s our specialty dough.
We soak it in pickle juice.
Dill pickle juice actually.
It’s a dilldough
“Where’d my boomerang go?”
Hahaha I just made you say “underwear”
*boomerang hits me in the back of the head*
“My cat just got ran over”
You cant end a sentence with a preposition
“My cat just got ran over lol”
*bursts into church*
DONT MARRY THAT WOMAN
Undertaker: “This is a funeral”
OKAY WELL IT STILL HOLDS TRUE, DONT MARRY HER