Anyone who doesn’t believe sentient A.I. will be the death of humanity has never been asked by Waze to make an unprotected left turn.
saw someone spill their high end juice cleanse all over the sidewalk and now I know god is on my side
“Sorry, I fail to see how I ‘misled’ you when my profile CLEARLY says I’m ‘a total cat person’?” – half-cat/half-person being after bad date
that fuzzy feeling when he puts his arm around u for the first time and then his other arm and then his other arm then u realize HE A SPIDER
I realized I was an adult when I almost bought napkins instead of taking a wad of free ones from Chipotle. Almost.
*TSA officer opens my suitcase, disembodied fist pops out and punches him*
me: sry sir I forgot I packed a powerful punch
*TSA guns me down*