@sageboggs: "What should we call this thing in the ocean that is land?"
How about island?
"Seems too obvious"
What if we pronounced it weird
@sageboggs: ME: why am I always anxious? maybe watching TV will help-
NEWS: IF THE HURRICANE DOESN'T KILL YOU, CLOWNS WILL
@sageboggs: GARY JOHNSON: let me debate, i wanna debate, lemme lemme
MODERATOR: FINE! how will you deal with big banks
JOHNSON: like...river banks, or
@sageboggs: My friends & I were taking shots every time Trump interrupted Clinton. My BFF Chad is dead :(
@sageboggs: "OH MY SWEET GOD BE CAREFUL. OH- OH MY DEAr LORD GOD. HOW? HOW??" -me watching gymnastics
@sageboggs: Listen up, guys
Neil Diamond is the name of a famous American singer-songwriter but it's also a checklist for anyone about to propose
@sageboggs: Worst flight I've ever been on. Waited for hours, plane never left the ground.. I'm never flying Airbnb again
@sageboggs: Hey girl, did it hurt? Did it hurt when you had to use your fingernails to rip through the dense layers of sediment on your way up from Hell