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Page of sageboggs's best tweets

@sageboggs : I keep a baseball bat under my bed in case someone tries to break in and pitch a no hitter

@sageboggs: "What should we call this thing in the ocean that is land?"
How about island?
"Seems too obvious"
What if we pronounced it weird

@sageboggs: ME: why am I always anxious? maybe watching TV will help-

@sageboggs: GARY JOHNSON: let me debate, i wanna debate, lemme lemme
MODERATOR: FINE! how will you deal with big banks
JOHNSON: like...river banks, or

@sageboggs: My friends & I were taking shots every time Trump interrupted Clinton. My BFF Chad is dead :(

@sageboggs: "OH MY SWEET GOD BE CAREFUL. OH- OH MY DEAr LORD GOD. HOW? HOW??" -me watching gymnastics

@sageboggs: Listen up, guys

Neil Diamond is the name of a famous American singer-songwriter but it's also a checklist for anyone about to propose

@sageboggs: Worst flight I've ever been on. Waited for hours, plane never left the ground.. I'm never flying Airbnb again

@sageboggs: Hey girl, did it hurt? Did it hurt when you had to use your fingernails to rip through the dense layers of sediment on your way up from Hell