Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets
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@salmarch79 : A stress ball, made of concrete, and to throw at the person who's stressing you out.
@salmarch79: I went around the block with my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.
@salmarch79: Due to the economic crisis and ever increasing price of food, the 5 second drop rule has now been increased to 10.
@salmarch79: Whenever my wife forces me to write my own message on a bday card, I write it on top of her's and copy exactly what she wrote.
@salmarch79: ABC NEWS: Bees fly and make honey
FOX: Islamic insects attacking Texas
CNN: flying warbirds create liquid yellow weapons of mass destruction