@salmarch79

A stress ball, made of concrete, and to throw at the person who’s stressing you out.

@salmarch79

I went around the block with my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.

@salmarch79

Due to the economic crisis and ever increasing price of food, the 5 second drop rule has now been increased to 10.

@salmarch79

Whenever my wife forces me to write my own message on a bday card, I write it on top of her’s and copy exactly what she wrote.

@salmarch79

ABC NEWS: Bees fly and make honey
FOX: Islamic insects attacking Texas
CNN: flying warbirds create liquid yellow weapons of mass destruction