Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Follow us on Instagram. In case you are wondering "But Why!". We post nice "night mode" funny tweets that are easy on your eyes when you are lying down on your side and night and scrolling through your phone while trying to get numbed up and forget the day. Click here to follow us

Page of salmarch79's best tweets

@salmarch79 : A stress ball, made of concrete, and to throw at the person who's stressing you out.

@salmarch79: I went around the block with my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.

@salmarch79: Due to the economic crisis and ever increasing price of food, the 5 second drop rule has now been increased to 10.

@salmarch79: Whenever my wife forces me to write my own message on a bday card, I write it on top of her's and copy exactly what she wrote.

@salmarch79: ABC NEWS: Bees fly and make honey
FOX: Islamic insects attacking Texas
CNN: flying warbirds create liquid yellow weapons of mass destruction