I love how pervasive pockets are. We have jacket pockets, pants pockets, pockets of space, pockets of time, pockets of air, and pizza pockets. Thanks for reading.
I don’t mean to brag, but I’ve received a lot of emails that find me well.
Pho tastes great for a food that sounds like it just gave up.
Pandas are seen as useless because they lack energy, they don’t have sex and they have extremely poor diets. I am basically a panda.
My autocorrect changed “graphic designer” to “groaning designer.” For once, it’s not wrong.
Date: I’m a vegan.
Me: *spits pieces of chicken into a napkin* Oh yeah? Me too.
Chris: I don’t care.
Kris: I don’t kare either.
Let me make something perfectly clear.
– Anyone who has washed a window
Me: I’m worried about my kleptomania.
Doctor: Here, take this.
ME: There’s something fishy going on here.
YOU: It’s just an aquarium.