@samdunsiger

I love how pervasive pockets are. We have jacket pockets, pants pockets, pockets of space, pockets of time, pockets of air, and pizza pockets. Thanks for reading.

@samdunsiger

I don’t mean to brag, but I’ve received a lot of emails that find me well.

@samdunsiger

Pho tastes great for a food that sounds like it just gave up.

@samdunsiger

Pandas are seen as useless because they lack energy, they don’t have sex and they have extremely poor diets. I am basically a panda.

@samdunsiger

My autocorrect changed “graphic designer” to “groaning designer.” For once, it’s not wrong.

@samdunsiger

Date: I’m a vegan.

Me: *spits pieces of chicken into a napkin* Oh yeah? Me too.

@samdunsiger

Let me make something perfectly clear.

– Anyone who has washed a window

@samdunsiger

Me: I’m worried about my kleptomania.
Doctor: Here, take this.

@samdunsiger

ME: There’s something fishy going on here.

YOU: It’s just an aquarium.

ME: Exactly.