@sarabellab123

My 4yo informed me that she was “less than not half way done” getting ready for school. My guess is she’ll be ready before I figure out what that means.

@sarabellab123

Me: Goodnight, sleep tight. I’ll miss you ‘til the morning.

8: You miss us when we’re sleeping?

Me: I do. Sometimes I even look at pictures of you after you’ve fallen asleep.

8: Well, that’s weird. Don’t you have anything better to do?

Me:

@sarabellab123

My daughters persistence is one of her greatest qualities and it will serve her well in the future, I just hope it doesn’t kill me first.

@sarabellab123

Ever tried to pinch a dried yogurt smear off your black leggings and watched in horror as a cloud of dust floated off of them?

Me either. That’d be gross.

@sarabellab123

I just yelled, “1, 2, 3 mommy is lava!” and my kids ran away, leaving me to drink my coffee in peace. I’m pretty sure I’ve peaked for the day.

@sarabellab123

*the night I met my spouse*

Me: I don’t usually do this.

*present day, as the kids binge YouTube*

Me: I don’t usually do this.

@sarabellab123

Worst ways to die

1. Burned alive
2. Suffocate
3. Die from frustration teaching your child to blow their nose

@sarabellab123

*my obituary*

Here lies Sarah. She died of starvation after surrendering countless snacks to her “not hungry” children.

@sarabellab123

My husband leaves water glasses lying around like he’s preparing for an invasion of water sensitive aliens.

@sarabellab123

4: When will I stop growing?

Me: When you’re a grownup, like me.

4: But you still grow.

Me: No I don’t.

4: You grew too big for those pants you really like.

Me: