Funny Tweeter

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Page of sarcasticmommy4's best tweets

@sarcasticmommy4 : I hate it when my husband starts tossing around unnecessary words like "budget" & "shopaholic."

@sarcasticmommy4: Mom pro tip: If you're old enough to critique what I put in your lunch, you're old enough to make it yourself.

@sarcasticmommy4: I don’t know what my husband is planning on doing for me for Mother's Day but I hope it's the laundry.

@sarcasticmommy4: *my teenage sons being loud, laughing, making inappropriate jokes*

Me: SHHHH! The windows are open & the neighbors are outside!

Son: Well, I’m a little offended they haven’t laughed yet.

@sarcasticmommy4: Not to brag but I can make my son angry just by asking, “how was your day?”

@sarcasticmommy4: What I said: GO TO BED!

What my kids heard: Start looking for a toy that was lost 5 years ago.

@sarcasticmommy4: Parenting through the years:

1st kid: Organic food only

2nd kid: “McDonald’s once in a while isn’t so bad.”

3rd kid: “Did he just eat dog food? I’m sure he’s fine.”

@sarcasticmommy4: This wine tastes like everyone can go make their own dinner.

@sarcasticmommy4: It's so cute, whenever I sing along to an 80's song, my kids ask me how I remember the words because I'm "so old".

@sarcasticmommy4: Parenthood can have it's dark moments.

Like in this closet where I'm hiding eating my cake.