Funny Tweeter

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Page of sarcasticmommy4's best tweets

@sarcasticmommy4 : How’s the parenting going over here?

My youngest just told my oldest to “GET IN THE DAMN CAR!”

@sarcasticmommy4: I love this time of year because I can leave my husband at home with the kids & say I’m going Christmas shopping when really I’m just out driving around in my car to get some peace & quiet.

@sarcasticmommy4: Thanks to daylight saving time, my kids now have an extra hour to fight with each other.

@sarcasticmommy4: So glad our house has 3 bathrooms so all of my kids can argue while brushing their teeth in mine.

@sarcasticmommy4: My son said that he was bored so I told him he could vacuum, dust or clean the kitchen & Oh! Look at that!

He’s nowhere to be found.

@sarcasticmommy4: New Mom: I bought my kids’ Halloween costumes back in August!

Well-seasoned Mom: That’s cool. I take my kids shopping on October 31st so they can’t change their minds 800 times.

@sarcasticmommy4: My son forgot he needed a new spiral notebook for today & is annoyed I don’t have one like, sorry our house didn’t magically turn into a Staples last night.

@sarcasticmommy4: If you’re on the fence about having kids, repeat “Put your shoes on, please” 100 times in a row until you’re in a blinding rage & see if it’s right for you.

@sarcasticmommy4: My son continued to wear his earbuds shopping with me after I told him not to so he didn’t hear me say I was leaving.

Hope he finds a ride home.

@sarcasticmommy4: *walking into store*

Him: You need a cart?
Me: No, I'm just getting 2 things.
Him: *rolls eyes, grabs cart*

Marriage level: Expert