@sarcasticmommy4: Me: I think I’ll try to lose 5 pounds.
HIM: That would be good.
ME: WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT’S GOOD?
ME: *rage opens Oreos*
@sarcasticmommy4: Me on FB: All kids home for summer break! My heart is full!
Reality: STOP ARGUING! GO GET A JOB! DO YOUR OWN LAUNDRY! WHO TOOK MY PHONE CHARGER?
@sarcasticmommy4: I left my kids with a list of things for them to do today because apparently I like to be optimistic & disappointed at the same time.
@sarcasticmommy4: Summer vacation with my kids is just me asking, “Have you brushed your teeth today?”
@sarcasticmommy4: My son unloading the dishwasher literally sounds like he dumped the whole thing on the floor & I should probably go look but I haven’t heard any screaming so I think we’re good.
@sarcasticmommy4: Kids: Yay! Summer break!
Me: Look at this Back to School Countdown Calendar I’ve created. EVERYBODY GETS ONE!
@sarcasticmommy4: My kids wanted to know what it's like to be a Mom so I woke them up at 2am to let them know my sock came off.
@sarcasticmommy4: My husband offered to make me a mimosa & then said, “Oh, sorry, we don’t have orange juice.”
Me: “That’s fine. I don’t take orange juice in my mimosa.”
@sarcasticmommy4: My husband started cooking right after I had cleaned the whole kitchen so he’s basically asking for a divorce.