@sbellelauren

remember if you want to send me flowers today my favorite kind are mushroom pizza

@sbellelauren

i’m awake! please respect my privacy during this very difficult time

@sbellelauren

thank god 50 shades of grey got the R rating they wanted because what kid under 18 wouldn’t want to watch 50 shades of grey with a parent

@sbellelauren

shout out to camera phones not being invented until well after my glo-stick period

@sbellelauren

the craziest thing about today’s story where a bear attacked a 12 year old girl jogging in her neighborhood is WHY IS A 12 YEAR OLD JOGGING

@sbellelauren

pregnancy tests should just read “pregnant” or “nope just fat”

@sbellelauren

god bless the 1st weatherman to dress as danny zuko & plead with sandy

@sbellelauren

whenever i trip a skinny girl running in only a sports bra i feel like i’m doing god’s work