@semple42

The date was going so well until he called me gorgeous and I blew a bubble out of my nose on accident.

@semple42

I really dislike my CW, so everyday I steal a Kleenex from her desk. In about 500 days, she’s gonna be pissed.

@semple42

Don’t think I won’t spin around and French kiss you if you’re standing too close to me in line at the liquor store.

@semple42

She danced her way into his heart.

-She was doing the robot tho, so she looked like an idiot.

@semple42

There’s this woman in my office who is wearing the same outfit as yesterday and she reeks of tequi……ok it’s me.

@semple42

So bored I just logged into my LinkedIn account.