@senderblock23

If you smell something bad never ask what it is. Someone could say it is your upper lip. There is no known comeback for this

@senderblock23

(commercial for drugs)

Man: Nothing is working out in my life
VO: Have you tried drugs?
Man: (startled) Who said that

Narrator: “Drugs”

@senderblock23

[someone reading a beautiful poem in german]
ME: i have never been more frightened

@senderblock23

John Lennon: Imagine all the people
Me: Ok but this is extremely boring

@senderblock23

BAE: come over
ME: we live together im sitting right here
BAE: my parents arent home
ME: what is wrong with you

@senderblock23

If you love something, let it go. Unless that thing is a cat. Your cat will not come back.

@senderblock23

Probably karma that Will Smith made a song about parents not understanding and then had a son who literally no one understands.