Waiter: And how did you find the wine?
Me: Well the first clue was the bottle in the middle of the table
Threaten a British person by holding a biscuit in a cup of tea until it breaks off whilst keeping eye contact.
The joy you get as a parent when you buy a big pizza and garlic bread to share, but they don’t like it! 😍😍
“Your beard really brings out your jawline” isn’t an appropriate compliment to put in her Valentine’s Day card, apparently!