@shawnspree
In the old days when people knocked on the door, you could hide. Now you have to disconnect from internet and turn off cell phones.
@shawnspree
@shawnspree
Smile and the world smiles with you. Laugh and the world wants you to stop looking at your phone and drive.
@shawnspree
My condolences for you and your family through this difficult transition is why my wife won’t let me send back wedding RSVP cards.
@shawnspree
Me: (Insert inspirational quote here)
Wife: Wow. That’s deep, who said that?
Me: I did. Didn’t you hear me speak just now?
@shawnspree
Squiggly line squiggly line space
Squiggly line squiggly line space
Squiggly line squiggly line space~me reading Arabic DM
@shawnspree
Is this the movie where a down and out coach is given a chance of a lifetime to turn these nobodies and misfits into a winning team?
@shawnspree
Father’s Day is the day my wife gets on all fours and lets me do ANYTHING I want to her. I usually lay back and use her as an ottoman.
@shawnspree
I always carry a small bottle of Tabasco when I fly. You never know when you’re going to crash in the Alps & have to live by eating people.
@shawnspree
Banned an 80 year old man for life from attending NBA games. What’s that? Like maybe 10 years?
@shawnspree
It’s not sex until you walk away with a nose bleed, and the Eye Of The Tiger song is still playing in your head.