
In the old days when people knocked on the door, you could hide. Now you have to disconnect from internet and turn off cell phones.
In the old days when people knocked on the door, you could hide. Now you have to disconnect from internet and turn off cell phones.
Smile and the world smiles with you. Laugh and the world wants you to stop looking at your phone and drive.
My condolences for you and your family through this difficult transition is why my wife won’t let me send back wedding RSVP cards.
Me: (Insert inspirational quote here)
Wife: Wow. That’s deep, who said that?
Me: I did. Didn’t you hear me speak just now?
Squiggly line squiggly line space
Squiggly line squiggly line space
Squiggly line squiggly line space~me reading Arabic DM
Is this the movie where a down and out coach is given a chance of a lifetime to turn these nobodies and misfits into a winning team?
Father’s Day is the day my wife gets on all fours and lets me do ANYTHING I want to her. I usually lay back and use her as an ottoman.
I always carry a small bottle of Tabasco when I fly. You never know when you’re going to crash in the Alps & have to live by eating people.
Banned an 80 year old man for life from attending NBA games. What’s that? Like maybe 10 years?
It’s not sex until you walk away with a nose bleed, and the Eye Of The Tiger song is still playing in your head.