@sheseemslegit

My cat: Meow
Me: Come here.
My cat: MEOW!
Me: You can’t complain about lack of attention AND not come here. Pick a struggle and stick to it.

@sheseemslegit

“I just talk a lot when I’m nervous.”

-Narrator: In reality, she talked a lot, all the time.

@sheseemslegit

I just realized I’m back working retail during the holiday season which means I will inevitably make many people angry when I tell them “Happy holidays!”

@sheseemslegit

Me: I want a serious long term relationship
Literally anyone: Hey I’m interested in you!
Me: *shivers* better hide in bed for 6 months.

@sheseemslegit

Being unemployed has given me even more time to make up songs to sing to my cat.

@sheseemslegit

Dear Fox news,

I have yet to see any news about foxes.

Sincerely,
disappointed viewer.