@shopkins776 Which essential oil is best for getting people to stop talking to you
@shopkins776 
@shopkins776 Being an adult
Pros)You can eat anything you want
Cons)You can’t eat anything you want
@shopkins776 I’m 50. If you say you want to be friends with benefits, you better damn well mean full medical and dental with a low deductible
@shopkins776 Hurricane Diary
Day 1)I have stocked enough snacks for at least two weeks of an extended hurricane disaster
Day 2)I am out of snacks
@shopkins776 *At the bar
Me)May I sit here?
Her)I have a boyfriend
Me)That’s ok, I’m 50. I just want to sit down
@shopkins776 20 year old me)I’m going to be rich
30 year old me)I’m going to travel
40 year old me)I’m going to be a better person
50 year old me)I’m going to bed
@shopkins776 You guys, I checked. Wolves can’t blow houses down, even if they are just made of straw and sticks. It’s all anti-wolf propaganda started by Big Pork
@shopkins776 When you say “You’re gonna hate me for this” you’re making an awfully large assumption that I don’t hate you already
@shopkins776 With all due respect to the Spice Girls. If you’re gonna be my lover, I would prefer it if you didn’t get with my friends
@shopkins776 Thanks for yelling at me and calling me names on the internet. I have the same opinion as you do now