
How many cupcakes do you guys usually take with you for your 30 minute gym workout
How many cupcakes do you guys usually take with you for your 30 minute gym workout
I’m 53 but my back turned 105 yesterday
Just saw a sign that said free hugs. I didn’t even know Hugs was arrested
So far the fourth decade of 2020 doesn’t seem so bad
According to my dad the top three crimes of all time are:
3. Arson
2. Murder
1. Standing there with the goddamn door open letting all the heat out
Which essential oil is best for getting people to stop talking to you
Being an adult
Pros)You can eat anything you want
Cons)You can’t eat anything you want
I’m 50. If you say you want to be friends with benefits, you better damn well mean full medical and dental with a low deductible
Hurricane Diary
Day 1)I have stocked enough snacks for at least two weeks of an extended hurricane disaster
Day 2)I am out of snacks
*At the bar
Me)May I sit here?
Her)I have a boyfriend
Me)That’s ok, I’m 50. I just want to sit down