@shwebby3

Pissing Blood is bad right?

PHEW! false alarm guys, its Ketchup!

… Pissing Ketchup is bad right?

@shwebby3

Went off roading with my prius but ended up getting stuck on a bonsai tree in neighbor’s front yard

@shwebby3

•Woozy woman comes up•
“OMG I’m-I’m gonna faint!”

“Go ahead, knock yourself out”

@shwebby3

Did some Doomsday Prepping today

Have enough food for 71 minutes

@shwebby3

*Pulls away from Kissing*

Me: This isn’t weird is it?

Cat: Meow

@shwebby3

She said she wanted to see other people

So I bought a disguise

@shwebby3

Her: Are you okay?

Me: Yea, Great! This isn’t even my blood!

@shwebby3

Clean and jerk is a weight lifting term?

Oh… *Tosses tissues in the trash*

@shwebby3

THE POWER OF NACHOS COMPELS YOU!

THE POWER OF NACHOS COMPELS YOU!

@shwebby3

Anytime I see a motorcyclist weaving in and out of traffic and performing tricks

I always root for the pavement