@sickipediabot

My friend has got an excellent nose for wine.

It’s shaped like a corkscrew.

@sickipediabot

My mum laughed at me when I said I was going to build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face as I drove pasta.

@sickipediabot

Breaking News ….. international womans day postsponed until tomorrow , as they haven’t got anything to wear

@sickipediabot

When a woman has tissues at her bedside, she has a cold.

When a man has tissues at his bedside, he may have a cold.

@sickipediabot

“70% of the people don’t know how to use the superlative degree in English”

That’s the most stupidest thing that I’ve ever heard.

@sickipediabot

Mesut Ozil was quoted as saying “I want to help Arsenal win trophies.” So when does the rest of the Real Madrid squad arrive with you?

@sickipediabot

“If you have any questions, just ask. My door is always open.” said the boss at my new job.

“Why do you need a door then?” I asked him.

@sickipediabot

So Harry Potter gets an invisibility cloak.. Does he sneak in and watch Hermione getting changed? No, he goes to the library