My friend has got an excellent nose for wine.
It’s shaped like a corkscrew.
My mum laughed at me when I said I was going to build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face as I drove pasta.
Breaking News ….. international womans day postsponed until tomorrow , as they haven’t got anything to wear
If you’re one in a million, there are more than 7,000 of you.
When a woman has tissues at her bedside, she has a cold.
When a man has tissues at his bedside, he may have a cold.
I’m reading a book about poltergeists.
It’s a real page turner.
“70% of the people don’t know how to use the superlative degree in English”
That’s the most stupidest thing that I’ve ever heard.
Mesut Ozil was quoted as saying “I want to help Arsenal win trophies.” So when does the rest of the Real Madrid squad arrive with you?
“If you have any questions, just ask. My door is always open.” said the boss at my new job.
“Why do you need a door then?” I asked him.
So Harry Potter gets an invisibility cloak.. Does he sneak in and watch Hermione getting changed? No, he goes to the library