@six_2_and_even

Did your dog lose a tennis ball under our couch? We have like 900 of them

@six_2_and_even

Ancestry dot com returned my check with a note saying every ancestor in my family was a horse thief. Every one.

@six_2_and_even

Whenever I see a flock of wild turkeys I engage them in conversation to learn of their history and oral tradition (they keep no recognizable written record). Unsurprisingly they have strong opinions about the pilgrims but reserve their greatest rancor for stuffing.

@six_2_and_even

If anyone sees that woman drying her bra by holding it out of the car window please tell her I love her

@six_2_and_even

When someone says something stupid my rump wiggles like a water buffalo getting shot by a tranquilizer dart and I walk away a few paces before collapsing on a termite hill

@six_2_and_even

My dog would like you to know that there are many many good sticks out there

@six_2_and_even

It’s not easy but it is possible to dance to Carry On Wayward Son by Kansas

@six_2_and_even

*dog watching me feed cat*
-I honestly can’t remember the last time I had food.
-I fed you exactly 1 minute ago
-has it been a week I think it’s been a week