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Page of six_2_and_even's best tweets

@six_2_and_even : I'll be emotionally available again as soon as they find Bigfoot.

@six_2_and_even: If anyone sees that woman drying her bra by holding it out of the car window please tell her I love her

@six_2_and_even: My stomach just growled so loudly the dog and cat formed a militia

@six_2_and_even: When someone says something stupid my rump wiggles like a water buffalo getting shot by a tranquilizer dart and I walk away a few paces before collapsing on a termite hill

@six_2_and_even: My dog would like you to know that there are many many good sticks out there

@six_2_and_even: It’s not easy but it is possible to dance to Carry On Wayward Son by Kansas

@six_2_and_even: *dog watching me feed cat*
-I honestly can’t remember the last time I had food.
-I fed you exactly 1 minute ago
-has it been a week I think it’s been a week

@six_2_and_even: Sometimes you just need to splash cold water on your face and wander around looking for a towel for the next 4 years

@six_2_and_even: Sometimes I’ll break into a house to turn down a thermostat

@six_2_and_even: Baby wood ducks hurl themselves from a nest 60’ high on the second day of their little lives but ok son, I can transfer cash into your account so you can get an iced coffee.