@skickwriter

There are two types of people in this world: those who finish things

@skickwriter

I stole one of those Krispy Kreme “HOT NOW” signs and hung it over our bed because good communication is important in a marriage.

@skickwriter

I have a confession…

I don’t like Oreos.

And it feels so great getting that off my chest!

*blocked by all of Twitter*

@skickwriter

Offering $50 and a case of beer to anyone who can take out my alarm clock and make it look like an accident.

@skickwriter

Him: *running* That’s not what they mean when they say, “Chicks dig scars!”

Me: *shovel in hand* It’s what this chick means.

@skickwriter

Me: He said he likes mac-n-cheese better the way his mom makes it.

Female judge: Case dismissed!

@skickwriter

Sorry, but that was only my favorite food in the world BEFORE you bought 5 cases of it at Costco.

-Kids

@skickwriter

5 & 8:
Mommy, may I wear these boots?
Can you find my jeans?
Will you brush my hair?
Will you tie my shoes?
Mommy, why aren’t you ready?

@skickwriter

My microwave broke. So, we’re finding innovative alternatives. Did y’all know the surface on top of the oven heats up, too? Honest to God.