Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Follow us on Instagram. In case you are wondering "But Why!". We post nice "night mode" funny tweets that are easy on your eyes when you are lying down on your side and night and scrolling through your phone while trying to get numbed up and forget the day. Click here to follow us

Page of smedlee's best tweets

@smedlee : If a lady ever jumped out of my cake goddamnit she better be holding more cake

@smedlee: APOCALYPSE SURVIVOR: "We must conserve resources. Only people with useful skills! What's yours?"
ME: "I write and want to dir--"
"GUNSHOT*

@smedlee: When I lose a follower, I like to pretend they were Taken, then I go to Europe and shoot absolutely everyone.

@smedlee: "No Kanye, it's called Coney Island."
"Kanye Island."
"Coney Island"
"Kanye Island."
"Co... ney."
"Kan... ye."

@smedlee: The worst thing about when someone tells you to chillax is what to do with their corpse.