@smerobin

I think it might be my birthday but I deleted my facebook account so I really have no way of knowing.

@smerobin

My dog used to get into her kennel when I put my coat on and I’m not saying that her standards have dropped since the start of this pandemic but she just went into her kennel when I put on pants

@smerobin

Today while I was giving my dog a bath a spider fell out of her fur and ran across the sink. If you need me, I’ll be in therapy for the next 48 years.

@smerobin

[inventing facebook]

Everyone: My family isn’t racist.

Mark Zuckerburg: Oh ahahahahaha

@smerobin

Laundry to do list;

□ whites
□ towels
□ untangle and re-dry duvet cover
□ untangle and re-dry duvet cover
□ untangle and re-dry duvet cover
□ darks

@smerobin

Husband: Give me one example.

Me: ALL the times.

Husband: Those don’t count.

@smerobin

Them: Why are you late?

Me: I’m not allowed to run over cyclists.

@smerobin

My husband just bought ice cream with raisins. So, that was a fun marriage.