YouTuber: if you like this video smash that subscribe button
Hulk: way ahead of you bud
Me: I don’t know if you think this is weird but you remind me of my mother
Her: Can I put her picture down yet?
Me: I’ll tell you when you can put the picture down Rebecca
Boss: Can I speak to you about your recent insubordination?
Me: I don’t know, CAN you?
*High-fives high school English teacher*
‘I don’t think I’ve ever been this hungry before’
–Me, every 45 minutes
Me: You and me baby
Her: Ain’t nothing but mammals?
Me: so let’s do it….?
Her: …like they do on the discovery channel!
Both of us: *hibernate for 4 months*
Prince Charming: check out the babe
Doc: oh that’s Snow White, she’s dead
Prince Charming: I should kiss her
Doc: do you really think that might bring her back to life?
Prince Charming: bring her what now?
‘What’s in the box? What’s in the box? WHATS IN THE BOX!?’ I shout. ‘Ha ha, just kidding my name is Drew and I’m your new gynaecologist’
Would a rose by any other name still let Jack die?
When your relationship runs into a problem you can’t figure out, simply use BEDMAS to solve
The same people who tell you to follow your dreams are the ones who are all ‘surprised’ when you show up to do a presentation buck naked. Do not trust these people. Stay woke and follow zero dreams.