@sonictyrant: Bond: "Bond, James Bond"
Moneypenny: "Moneypenny, Miss Moneypenny"
Q: [looking dejected] "Q, just Q, Q"
@sonictyrant: Cop: my dog sniffed out this bag from your car
Me: that's dope
Cop: Right? Super good boy
@sonictyrant: me: make me irresistible to all women
genie: *turns me into a puppy* careful what you wish for haha
me: *raises hind leg over lamp*
genie: wait no stop
@sonictyrant: concierge: the lift is broken sir i think your friend has taken the stairs
me: when's he bringing them back?
@sonictyrant: girlfriend: okay fine, but promise it won’t be like last time
me: *Already kicking kids out of the bouncy castle* THIS. IS. SPARTA!
@sonictyrant: me: *running around the operating room in circles screaming*
patient: who's that?
nurse: your trauma surgeon
patient: wow he's good
@sonictyrant: Astronaut: *examining a large knot* Houston please be advised. The moon's a balloon
Houston: what ! proceed carefully
Me: you think we should p-
Houston: DO NOT I REPEAT DO NOT LET HIM POP THE MOON JESUS CHRIST
@sonictyrant: [After sex]
Her: *smoking a cigarette* where are you going?
Me: i told my mom i'd call her
Me: *tapping the wardrobe door* Mom, you can come out now