In my 20’s – chases a martini with a tequila shot and some weed
In my 40’s – chases a multivitamin with a glass of milk so it doesn’t upset my stomach
[Pulls away from kissing]
So you do want me to interview for the cat juggling job?
Any man that dates me better have my beer ready when I get home like my cats do
I just saw a guy put deodorant on before walking into an adult bookstore.
I kinda want to date him now.
C’mon, I can’t be the only one that does kegels to pass the time in meetings
The ex just asked me how can one have a soulmate if one has no soul?
Wonder which of us he was referring to?