@stacywawa1

In my 20’s – chases a martini with a tequila shot and some weed

In my 40’s – chases a multivitamin with a glass of milk so it doesn’t upset my stomach

@stacywawa1

[Pulls away from kissing]

So you do want me to interview for the cat juggling job?

@stacywawa1

Any man that dates me better have my beer ready when I get home like my cats do

@stacywawa1

I just saw a guy put deodorant on before walking into an adult bookstore.

I kinda want to date him now.

@stacywawa1

C’mon, I can’t be the only one that does kegels to pass the time in meetings

@stacywawa1

The ex just asked me how can one have a soulmate if one has no soul?

Wonder which of us he was referring to?