Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

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Page of stanleybehrman's best tweets

@stanleybehrman : I wish I was as optimistic as the wives that believe they can change their husbands into the men they thought they married.

@stanleybehrman: Most accidents happen within a 2 block radius of your home. That is why I park my car 3 blocks away and walk. Can never be too safe.

@stanleybehrman: I decided to ignore idiots, now I just need to find something to do with all this spare time.

@stanleybehrman: From my hospital bed it occurred to me, that i could never work in a hospital because there are too many opportunities to nap.

@stanleybehrman: If she boasts how adult coloring is therapeutic and has made her more tolerant and patient

Hide her markers

And wait...

@stanleybehrman: Thank you Twitter for introducing me to brilliant people , but your suggestions of who is similar to me is making me reassess my life.

@stanleybehrman: I don't believe that twitter is the place for arguments.

We all have family for that..

@stanleybehrman: Texting is a brilliant way to miscommunicate how you feel, and misinterpret what other people mean.