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Page of steeve_again's best tweets

@steeve_again : Barney: I love you, you love me

Me: *rolling over in bed* look I thought this was a no strings thing

@steeve_again: Wife: *banging on bedroom door* I know about you and the murder

Me: oh shit

Crows: *in bed with me* finally we can be together

@steeve_again: Co-worker: *spots me in line for Toy Story* wait, you have friends?

Me: *clutching two extra large popcorn for myself* yes and I’m about to see them all

@steeve_again: Me: [on mars] *opening bag of chips*

My dog: *blasts off from earth*

@steeve_again: Magician: I can make anything disappear

Tom: *holding cup* do it to my tea

Magician: *waves hand* done

om: *holding cup* it didn’t work

@steeve_again: [trying out my magic tricks for the first time]

*sawing person in half*

Funeral director: *wrestling me away from casket*

@steeve_again: [training the new person at work]

Them: so you do this everyday?

Me, hiding in the toilet for the 6th time: yes

@steeve_again: Why does every toy in Toy Story always stop moving when a human is around? Who do they answer to? Who created that rule ? WHO IS THEIR GOD?

Therapist: let go of my collar

@steeve_again: [planning a heist]

Guy: it’s gonna be an inside job

Me, hates going outside: nice