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@stockejock : What do we want?
ROCK HARD ABS!
When do we want them?
THE DAY AFTER THE HOLIDAYS ARE OVER!
@stockejock: Misery loves company,
and apparently that's why my parents invite me over every Thanksgiving weekend.
@stockejock: I'm already getting anxious over Christmas due to my Santa Claustrophobia-the fear of being smothered in an elevator by a crowd of Santas.
@stockejock: My mom's favorite part of my birthday is describing my birth in detail to an 18 year old waitress who is just there to get our drink order.
@stockejock: What doesn't kill a grammar nazi makes me wronger.
@stockejock: Grandma, stop asking people what they're supposed to be for Halloween-this is Walmart.
@stockejock: Revenge is a dish best served with a laxative that looks like chocolate.
@stockejock: 'Pardon my French' -People who you would never pardon and who don't know any French
@stockejock: Just told my kid her freckles are kisses from angels and she said freckles are actually clusters of concentrated melanin. THANKS NICK JR. :(
@stockejock: Butterflies are like regular flies, but they live at Paula Deen's house.