@summerlvn82
[ At the grocery store ]
Cashier: Is that everything?
Me: Nope. I got all this invisible shit, too
@summerlvn82
@summerlvn82
[Being murdered]
Can you leave my body on a jogging path so people think I was exercising
@summerlvn82
*I take out the car keys*
Him: Where are you going?
Me: Who knows? I’m a wild creature that can’t be tamed, I could end up anywhere
Him:
Me:
Him:
Me: Walgreens.