Whoa there, pregnancy test. You just tell us yes or no and we’ll decide if it’s positive or negative.
If you have a tattoo on your head, you’ve lost the right to ask me what I’m looking at.
If you ask me where your glasses are, and they’re on your head, I will help you look for them forever.
Open books don’t get judged by their covers.
I wish people were more like dogs and you could just give them those three little pats and they’d know our interaction was over.
The person sleeping next to you is statistically more likely to murder you than any other person on the entire planet. Do the dishes.