Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets
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@sumpeoplelikeit : Whoa there, pregnancy test. You just tell us yes or no and we'll decide if it's positive or negative.
@sumpeoplelikeit: If you have a tattoo on your head, you've lost the right to ask me what I'm looking at.
@sumpeoplelikeit: If you ask me where your glasses are, and they're on your head, I will help you look for them forever.
@sumpeoplelikeit: Open books don't get judged by their covers.
@sumpeoplelikeit: I wish people were more like dogs and you could just give them those three little pats and they'd know our interaction was over.
@sumpeoplelikeit: The person sleeping next to you is statistically more likely to murder you than any other person on the entire planet. Do the dishes.
There is only one rule, it should be funny, you can submit your own tweet or one you think is funny.
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FunnyTweeter.com is a daily updated collection of funniest tweets from all over the world. We did not write these tweets, all credit goes to the original authors, follow them and encourage them to tweet more :)
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