Funny Tweeter

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Page of susie_qsie's best tweets

@susie_qsie : Mom: Do you have any idea how painful it was to carry you in my womb for 9 months?

Me: If the last time I hurt you was 37 years ago, I’d say you’re winning in this relationship.

@susie_qsie: If I ever find someone I love as much as pizza...

...I will kill them. Nobody comes between me and pizza.

@susie_qsie: I’m at that age where all my friends have husbands and babies and all I’ve got is time and money.