Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of sweet_pea707's best tweets

@sweet_pea707 : *interview* So, why do you want to be a judge? *Imagines myself going work everyday in my robe* "To fight crime"

@sweet_pea707: HR: Do you know why I called you in here today?

Me: I have a boyfriend

HR: Ok, sorry to bother you

@sweet_pea707: Me: I'm feeling frisky yet stabby. Do you want to come over?


Me: Good answer

@sweet_pea707: Me: Siri, how do I look?

Siri: Well, at least you tried

@sweet_pea707: Me: Did you hear what I just said?

Him: Yes

Me: What did I say?

Him: Did you hear what I just said