@sweetg35

The way my life is now if I threw caution to the wind it would just throw it back.

@sweetg35

Brownie points would be better if we could eat them.

@sweetg35

If you’re going to give someone a piece of your mind, make sure you can spare it.

@sweetg35

Sometimes going with the flow you end up in a sewer.

@sweetg35

If it sounds better in your head, leave it there.

@sweetg35

You can’t choose your family, but you can block them on Facebook.

@sweetg35

Act now and we will double your order of crap!

Infomercials

@sweetg35

I started out with nothing and still have most of it!

Fact.

@sweetg35

If you’re not suppose to eat late at night, then why is there a light in the refrigerator?!