@sweetmomissa

Oh I’m definitely a cat person

*lays on the couch and glares at you until you feed me

@sweetmomissa

Him: I thought you were spring cleaning today

Me: *stumbling* Did you even SEE the wine cabinet?

@sweetmomissa

My son washed his own bedding last night so I’m torn between being thrilled and mortified as to why he washed his own bedding.

@sweetmomissa

Does anyone else start hearing the Jumanji drum sound right before their kids come home from school?

@sweetmomissa

Being a parent involves saying “this is NOT a democracy” a lot more than I thought it would

@sweetmomissa

What do you mean you’re not coming? I shaved my big toe and everything.

@sweetmomissa

*my kids whining*

Me: oh knock it off and grow up

*my dogs whining*

Me: oh honey, oh baby, my little pitter pat whatever do you need, wanna play ball, let’s cuddle

@sweetmomissa

Last night out at dinner my daughter ordered a salad… I likely would have too had I not passed out from shock.

@sweetmomissa

You wanna impress me roomba? Climb up and get all the dog hair off my couch.