@sweetmomissa
All my daughter ate for dinner was bread and water, so she will be prepared for a recession or a life of crime.
@sweetmomissa
@sweetmomissa
I just want the level of idgaf as my teen who I told to go to bed by midnight – but sends me a snap at 4am.
@sweetmomissa
My son: you’re the best mom I’ve ever had
Me: 🙂
My daughter: because she’s the only mom you’ve ever had
Me: 🙁
@sweetmomissa
My personal brand is finding a missing earring the day after I threw the other one out
@sweetmomissa
I’m starting to think my daughter buys one thing that doesn’t fit every time we go to the mall just so we have a reason to go back to the mall
@sweetmomissa
Oh I’m definitely a cat person
*lays on the couch and glares at you until you feed me
@sweetmomissa
Feed a cold, starve a fever, wine and nacho a vaccination
@sweetmomissa
Him: I thought you were spring cleaning today
Me: *stumbling* Did you even SEE the wine cabinet?
@sweetmomissa
My son washed his own bedding last night so I’m torn between being thrilled and mortified as to why he washed his own bedding.
@sweetmomissa
Does anyone else start hearing the Jumanji drum sound right before their kids come home from school?