@sweetmomissa

All my daughter ate for dinner was bread and water, so she will be prepared for a recession or a life of crime.

@sweetmomissa

I just want the level of idgaf as my teen who I told to go to bed by midnight – but sends me a snap at 4am.

@sweetmomissa

My son: you’re the best mom I’ve ever had

Me: 🙂

My daughter: because she’s the only mom you’ve ever had

Me: 🙁

@sweetmomissa

My personal brand is finding a missing earring the day after I threw the other one out

@sweetmomissa

I’m starting to think my daughter buys one thing that doesn’t fit every time we go to the mall just so we have a reason to go back to the mall

@sweetmomissa

Oh I’m definitely a cat person

*lays on the couch and glares at you until you feed me

@sweetmomissa

Him: I thought you were spring cleaning today

Me: *stumbling* Did you even SEE the wine cabinet?

@sweetmomissa

My son washed his own bedding last night so I’m torn between being thrilled and mortified as to why he washed his own bedding.

@sweetmomissa

Does anyone else start hearing the Jumanji drum sound right before their kids come home from school?