@swiftenhaal

Just ordered Dominos while at Dominos because I need a ride home.

@swiftenhaal

Sometimes I wonder how vegans can survive off what little they can eat and then I remember they just feed off attention.

@swiftenhaal

Carp we hit an iceberg!
What am I herring? This scampi true!
Whale I squid you not
Oh cod I can’t die
Waterboat me? You’re so shellfish

Fin

@swiftenhaal

If Iron Man and the Man of Steel were to team up, they’d be powerful alloys.

@swiftenhaal

I’m only watching the royal wedding for the bishop. I’ve always wanted to see a person who only moves diagonally.