@tacsanitchiban

Old friend: Wow! When the hell did you grow a beard?

Me: This morning. On the way here. Just felt like it was time.

@tacsanitchiban

Whenever someone says “let’s get weird” my first thought is “I’m already there”

@tacsanitchiban

My daughter ruined her Halloween costume. Gonna wrap her in aluminum foil and send her out as a leftover.