@tarashoe: if i were a cab driver, i'd scream "ROAD TRIP" every time i got a passenger
@tarashoe: ME: i'd like to get rid of all this
PERSONAL TRAINER: you're just making like one sweeping gesture around your entire body
ME: and my head
@tarashoe: STRANGER: she has a book. cute and smart
ME: [taking a bite of the small layer cake i made to look like a book]
STRANGER: a stunning genius
@tarashoe: this month's full moon is in virgo. you know what that means: you shouldn't be friends with me because i will tell you shit like this
@tarashoe: A WOMAN: i've only been washing my hair
ME: IN THE OFFICE BATHROOM SINK!! ME TOO!!
THE WOMAN: once a
ME: ONCE I WAKE UP I KNOW SAME ME TOO!!