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Page of tarashoe's best tweets

@tarashoe : haha remember when you were a kid you'd hide inside the clothes racks at stores. can't do that as an adult. someone's stupid kid is in there

@tarashoe: if i were a cab driver, i'd scream "ROAD TRIP" every time i got a passenger

@tarashoe: ME: i'd like to get rid of all this
PERSONAL TRAINER: you're just making like one sweeping gesture around your entire body
ME: and my head

@tarashoe: STRANGER: she has a book. cute and smart
ME: [taking a bite of the small layer cake i made to look like a book]
STRANGER: a stunning genius

@tarashoe: well. like. what the hell does that leave me with then i mean cmon

@tarashoe: this month's full moon is in virgo. you know what that means: you shouldn't be friends with me because i will tell you shit like this

@tarashoe: A WOMAN: i've only been washing my hair
ME: IN THE OFFICE BATHROOM SINK!! ME TOO!!
THE WOMAN: once a
ME: ONCE I WAKE UP I KNOW SAME ME TOO!!