Them: Can you fix my computer while I am at lunch?
Me: You do know IT people eat food like other humans, right?
If you’re assigned green beans for thanksgiving then you’re the one who can’t cook
I have been taking notes
So if you are missing notes, I probably have them
Looking forward to Monday?
You sneezed 20 times in a row, I think your brain wants out
I’m at my most spiderman when using a public restroom
Vacuum the cat, its easier than vacuuming his hair from the whole house
When I said I missed you, I meant with a hammer
He’s going to change just for you?
Wow, you must be a very special kind of stupid
The grass was greener on the other side, so we smoked it.