@texasstalkermom

Of course he’s into you. He’s just super-duper busy, messaging other chicks.

@texasstalkermom

The only thing longer than a minute left on the microwave is a minute on the treadmill.

@texasstalkermom

Society: Dance like no ones watching.

Also society: Records it for everyone to see.

@texasstalkermom

Naked and afraid, but it’s just me taking off all of my clothing before I weigh myself.

@texasstalkermom

Him: Can I have your number?

Me: *looks up from texting
I don’t have a phone.