Of course he’s into you. He’s just super-duper busy, messaging other chicks.
Me: I look cute today.
Him: Do you know what your problem is?
The only thing longer than a minute left on the microwave is a minute on the treadmill.
Society: Dance like no ones watching.
Also society: Records it for everyone to see.
Naked and afraid, but it’s just me taking off all of my clothing before I weigh myself.
Me: Thank you.
Him: Shake whatcha mama gave ya.
Me: *picks up crock pot
Him: Can I have your number?
Me: *looks up from texting
I don’t have a phone.
Them: Do you know what your problem is?