@thatdutchperson: [first date]
Her: know what you're getting yet?
Me: a burger and one of those coloring menus.
Her: oh, you have a kid at home?
@thatdutchperson: [narrating a commercial for therapy]
"For a 100 bucks an hour we'll blame your mother."
Me: can you please keep that awful noise down?
Contractor: for the last time, sir, we don't control who's running for president.
@thatdutchperson: [Stares deeply into date's eyes before going to the bathroom]
"I've counted these fries."
@thatdutchperson: [date with girl I met at the park]
Waiter: is everything ok, sir?
Me:*fighting back the tears*
Her:*sigh* he expected me to bring my dog.
@thatdutchperson: Me: sorry I can't go to the farmer's market with you. Allergies.
@thatdutchperson: [Person who spends 20 hours per week in the gym]
"The trick is to drink 8 glasses of water a day."
@thatdutchperson: I just ordered a set of dumbbells, so that'll be a fun new thing to trip over while I search for the remote.
@thatdutchperson: Someone rang my doorbell twice this morning, so I guess I'm having lunch behind the couch.