@the_anastasia

If you’re afraid of getting fat, drink a little before eating. The alcohol should reduce the fear.

@the_anastasia

“Are you working right now? Where are you working?”

Facebook is worse than my parents.

@the_anastasia

It’s funny how all those “best places in the world” lists always forget to include the Internet.

@the_anastasia

When one door closes another one opens. I should really get this cabinet fixed.

@the_anastasia

My friend is so stupid she thought Alabama is a city. Don’t worry, I informed her Alabama is the president.